A Letter From a Friend

You are made with a purpose. I know it might not always make sense, this world you live in. But I made you, beautifully and wonderfully. I made you to have a relationship with me, to love me, and to worship me. Humble yourself before me, and to worship me. Humble yourself before me so that you can receive the love I have for you. I am. I am your ultimate lover. No one else's love will do. I will heal you. I am the Masterful healer. I will give you strength to carry out what I have planned for you. Listen. Listen to what I want you to do. Then you will start to realize and understand your purpose and my will. Commit to me like I've committed to you. I am always near. When you feel like I am far, it isn't me. Evaluate where you are. I am here to take you back if you humble yourself and repent. I want to be your focus. Stay the course. Stay balanced. Stay in me. Fall on your knees before me, your God. Trust in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Consciously choose me, every day. Give yourself to me as you live moment by moment. Drink me in. Be consumed with my love, joy, and gentleness. Humble yourself to take me to others. Humble yourself to be used by me and I will show you wonders that you have not seen. From my Heart, God

What is it to be humble?

A few weeks ago, God put the word humble on my heart. He told me, "humble yourself before Me for I am the Lord your God." That phrase has made such an impact on me that I've to focus on humility his school year. Who knows, it might just be my word for life. Anyway, here's a list of unofficial definitions of what see as humility on my own life. 1) telling God that I am broken and that I need Him and only Him to fix me. 2) Not trying to bear everything on my own shoulders. When I do that, I'm telling Hod that he's not big enough to handle my problems. BUT when Ithe reverse of that is true as well so that when I humble myself and admit that I'm not strong enough, that brings glory to God. 3) Repenting of my sins on a regular basis. 4) Allowing my pride to fall 5) To cry "in front" of God. I'm not a crier, mostly because it signifies weakness to me, which is my biggest fear. So to cry when I talk to Hod is like telling him that I am weak and I need his strength ti get me through the day. 6) To talk to God throughout the day. To actively and consciously include God on my day shows my dependence on him as well. I guess for me at this moment, humility is accepting the fact that I can't make it through his world alone and accepting God's strength and will above my own since mine will never be enough to survive.

Psalm of Praise

From homesickness to Psalm 18 to girls night, today has seen it all; and so has God. I didn't expect to cry today watching a woman sign, but it reminded me of a dear friend from back home. I thank God for telephones. I thank God for the relationships I built there and for the ones I'm building here that are helping me through this transition. I thank God for his word, particularly the Psalms. I thank God for being my comforter and refuge, my strength in times of sorrow. I thank God for power to turn any kind of day into a joyful one. I thank God for Himself. Ps 13: How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will youv hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for her has been good to me. Ps 18:6: In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, /nto his ears.

A Woman of Worth

Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.” Hannah in 1 Sam. 1:16. "Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the LORD." 1 Sam. 2:12. Hannah was not a worthless woman because she knew the Lord. God, give me worth by knowing you.

Excellent Women's Resource

Thank you to the author of this blog! Your notes have given me a resource as to find out what a godly woman looks like. My prayers that you reach more women than you could ever dream, and that your small group continues to grow and be influenced by Christ. http://gennean.blogspot.com/2011/05/godly-women.html

PURPOSE: the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, e

Purpose. It's what I want. It's what I've been striving toand only find. It's what God, and only God, can give me. Without Him, I feel empty and worthless. What is the point of this world if God didn't make us and Jesus didn't save us? There isn't one. God, give me purpose and I vow to use it for your will and purpose alone. To you will I give the glory. For your kingdom I will fight. God, complete my life and my soul. Give me a resin to live. Thank you.

My Heaven

In my heaven, there will be the most glorious sunsets.
                      I will see the wonders of the world in a day.
                      the stars will shine brighter.
                      there will be a doggy heaven.
                              but no cats.
                      my grandmother will be able to walk without pain.
                      my grandfather will be able to cope without alcohol.
                      there will be no third-world to save from disease.
                      my job will not exist.
                      I will experience the most passionate love unknown to man.

In my heaven, I will never have to say goodbye.

Farewell.

                     
                     
                     

My Current Prayer

Mark 4:10-12; Luke 8:9-10

Lord,

         

I want to hear & obey. I don’t want to be the kind of person you’re talking about in this passage. Grace me with better understanding and wisdom. Give me humility to know when I’ve done wrong & when my pride is in the way. Forgive me for my attitude today. I thought I had the right to be mad. But really I don’t have a right to anything. My pride made me want to be mad and frustrated. I wanted to react in the way the world expected. Please give me the strength to react in the way you expect and empower me.

Love,

Owlee

What's in a Fisherman?

Mark 1:16-20; Luke 5:1-11; Matthew 4:18-22

Why did Jesus pick fisherman for his disciples? A number of his closest 12 were fisherman, and his 3 closest were fisherman. There was obviously a quality about these men that caused Jesus to pick them to be fishers of men.

-Patience is a virtue. We've all heard that, but it takes A LOT of patience to fish. Both for men & actual fish.

-Have to be willing to face the storms. (One of the requirements for the job)

-The more you fish, the more experienced you become and the better you are.

-When fishing nowadays, you have to know which bait and line you want to use for the type of fish you want to catch. (I don't know how they fished in the Roman empire). For example, you're not going to plan a rock concert to win the elderly over to Christ...

-Disciplined with equipment. Reading the Bible, talking to God, etc.

-Perseverance: some days you don't catch anything, but you go out the next day anyway.

-Jesus brings in the multitudes.

When thinking about fishermen, I realized that God has a sense of humor. He likes to connect everything so that it might not make sense at first glance, but there really is a reason why Jesus decided to hang out with people that smelled of fish guts. All of the qualities that are required with fish fishing, are required to fish for men. I hope you make the same connection I did when you read these passages.

From Concussion Times

Concussion. Slows you down. Frustrates you. Makes you emotional. Sucks. But everything happens for a reason. Full scholarship through college, gone. 28 on ACT's when I needed a 29. Narnia, The Last Battle, Ustace and Jill didn't get to Narnia using the rings, the play THEY had come up with. Aslan didn't need the rings. God doesn't need my ACT scores. "I finally got some sense knocked into me, and I have the bump to prove it." Simba. I have my bump from falling to prove what I learned. I prayed that God would teach me something through Narnia since I can't read yet, and he did. He used Narnia and Disney, two of my favorite things. God works in mysterious ways. It gets me trusting in Him again. I had it all figured out. I didn't need him anymore. Now I see I will always need Him, and if I feel I don't, He'll make sure that I'll do.


14 January 2012 journal entry
I wrote this in my journal 5 days after I hit my head and got my concussion. I have just gotten around to putting it up in my busy schedule. Still a good reminder of our dependence on God.

Longest Days of My Life Thus Far

Pain.  Confusion.  Anxiety.  Depression.  Bewilderment.  Lack of Hope.  Mostly Frustration.  This concoction of emotions intoxicated my body the moment my head hit the wooden gym floor.  A concussion changes a person, for better or worse, I don’t know.  It forces me to be still to rest even when I don’t want to.  The harder I push myself, the worse I feel.  It’s an odd feeling to be still when you’re used to running one hundred miles an hour.  To not participate in all the activities, to not be able to understand concepts you understood earlier that day, to not be able to work.  What good ever came out of staring at a wall?

It forced me to listen, to notice, to read, to pray, to calm my spirits.  But none of these things would have happened if I had not hit my head..  Two days after receiving my concussion, my ACT scores were reported, and they are one point below the needed score to apply for a certain (quite large-60-100%) scholarship.  This news broke my heart in two.  I had been counting on that scholarship to go to my dream school with pretty much no debt.   Through the trauma and the crying, I believe that I was set back in my recovery.  Through the process, I discovered that I was becoming too comfortable with my decisions to trust God in anything.  I still want to attend Messiah College, become an occupational therapist, and someday go to Africa, but it will all be on His dollar because I know that I CAN’T AFFORD IT. Because I can’t read for long periods of time, I’ve been listening to my beloved Narnia stories and asked God to teach me something through them.  He’s shown me a lot actually. In The Last Battle, Eustace and Jill are trying to get to Narnia, and the group has this whole plan with the rings from the Professor’s house and the whole shebang.  The children never needed them; Aslan did all the work.  The rings are the scholarships that I wanted, and Aslan (God).  I’m still asking why He let this happen to me, my senior year when I was just coming into my grove.  Why did He take that away from me?  I don’t know what He wants to reveal to me, but with so much time on my hands, I can really dig into what He has to say.  But I know I am to listen, and it will be revealed to me.

“Call unto Me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which though knowest not.”  Jeremiah 33:3 KJV