Thursday, January 8, 2015

how to survive the drizzle, not the storm

About a week ago, I was lying in bed praying when I started thinking about the phrase "God never gives us more than we can handle." I firmly believe the complete opposite. I think of Paul when he writes 2 Cor 12:9- "My strength is made perfect in weakness." If I can handle every aspect of life, than I see no need for a god of any kind. Without thinking, I said, "God, this semester, give me more than I can handle." Realizing what I had just prayed, I took it back. I don't know if one can "take back" a prayer, but I think God understood. I was suddenly hit with the weight of that prayer, what that could actually mean. In the moment, I was thinking about things that I don't think I can handle: the death of my grandparent or an overload at school. I had been looking forward to a fun filled first semester of my senior year full of basketball games, game nights, and late night Baker's runs with my friends. Praying that God would give me more than I could handle felt like I was asking for stress, depression, and begging to get back to my safe and comfortable bed. Needless to say, this thought has stuck with me, and in a sense, has become my prayer for the semester but in a different way. My prayer when I wake is that God will give me more than I can handle...today. "Today's trouble is enough for today" (Matt. 6:34). From my position as an resident assistant, I have been blessed to enter into the lives of 41 girls, and I have seen that there are small battles of body image, idolatry, distractions, and pain that are present every day. So often, these battles can consume my thoughts during the day without me noticing. Maybe these are the things that are more than I can handle. I can't take captive of these thoughts by myself; I'm dependent on God. So as I pray that God gives me more than I can handle today, I draw upon his strength to take on the small battles that so often cloud my Creator.