My Way or the Highway?

Over the years, I have become aware that I am have a Type A personality. When I say over the years, I really mean the past 22. So since birth, I have developed this personality that likes events to happen when scheduled, documents to be organized, and things to happen my way. My grandma used to love telling the story of my first (and only?) ballet recital when I was on stage bossing the other girls around when they weren’t performing up to my standards. I was four! I have not changed much since then; I am still the semi-bossy, my way works best because it’s the most efficient, organization, time conscious, record keeping queen. All of these traits may sound like the perfect combination as an employee. In fact, I need to meet deadlines (I actually like to be early) or else I become anxious and frustrated with myself, everything has to have a place or I become anxious, and above all, the schedule must be kept at all costs to produce a smooth working environment or else I become anxious. Needless to say, when things don’t happen the way I expect/want them too I become anxious. It’s part of my perfectionistic tendencies. This is all the backstory to bring us to where God has me today… Every part of my type A personality that I described above is the exact opposite of Zambian culture so my days are often filled with frustrations and the temptations to take charge. God has granted me self-control in order to not act out on these frustrations and temptations, but I believe that He wants more than just my actions to be changed. He wants my heart to be more like Him. I believe that God didn’t give me a spirit of anxiousness and fear, so these feelings that I have are a result of sin and the devil’s attacks. Even writing this, I can see errors in my thinking. Did you notice how I was very black and white in my though process earlier? “my way is best, need to meet; has to have; must be kept at all costs.” These thought patterns are not from God. God created humans with creativity, and our diversity is what allows humans as a whole to capture the image of God. Thinking that my way is the best way is actually limiting people to do what we were made to do. Now there is a place for organization, time keeping, and proper recording, but I need to look at what is important. Will I be able to take my organization tools to heaven, will I keep time in heaven, will I have to document everything in heaven? No, no, and no. What will come with me to eternity? People. Souls. My type A personality may help me reach people, but I can’t let my perfectionism become more important than people. I need to create new coping skills to dealing with my frustrations that don’t include becoming anxious and annoyed. I want coping skills that make me more like Christ rather than creating a foothold for the devil. Any suggestions? It is time for the old Ally to go and the new, Christ-like Ally, in spirit as well as deeds, to come forth and flourish.